A Midsummer Night With Mayuri
by judikickshiney
Summary: Oberon is amused, Puck is jealous, Mayuri is pissed, and Asagi Jizou is creepy. Midsummer Nights have always been strange...


Oberon stared. This was something that he was sure he had never seen before.

…It was…ugly. Given, a lot of Titania's Hench-Creatures were positively revolting, but this…This was worse.

It reminded him of something Puck would want to mess around with.

…anything Puck would drag around was bound to be a pain in Oberon's very royal, very pretty ass. (Exhibit A: That very pretty fairy that just so happened to be one of Titania's favorite servants. Puck's wooing and subsequent dumping had been hell on the King and Queen's relationship. For at least a year, he had been forced to sleep with one of his Amazonian lovers.(Which, while fun, were not the same as sleeping with Titania.)) And Puck would be the first to admit it.

"What IS it?" He asked, aloud. The strange looking man next to the creature looked fairly intelligent. Possibly enough to form a coherent sentence. Maybe. Mortals were hard to understand on the best of days.

"It's my zanbakuto, foolish human." Mayuri sneered.

Oberon felt rightly offended. He'd never been mistaken as a human before. It was insulting. He was much better looking and much classier than any human ever could be. He crossed his arms and swore to himself that after he'd found out what in all the gods names a zanbakuto was, he'd turn this sniveling idiot into a toad.

Mayuri had no idea what the fairy lord was thinking, and thus continued on his (very annoying) rant. "My sword. Can't you tell? You're severely limited mentally if you can't tell that this is a sharp blade attached to a handle. It's obviously a sword."

Oberon ignored the insults and focused on the thing that was bothering him. "It has a face. That moves." Which was something he could get used to very fast, if not for how…atrocious the face really was.

Mayuri huffed and stroked the top of the head of his…sword. "Don't feel bad, Asogi Jizou. He doesn't know any better." He crooned. The head made a strange gurgling noise. Oberon looked disturbed.

"Was that a laugh?" He asked, almost warily. Mayuri gave him a dirty look.  
"You shouldn't speak, fool. Do not dare to insult the great Asogi Jizou."

The Fairy King bit back a grin. "Ah well." He sighed. "I suppose there's nothing for it." He looked over Mayuri thoughtfully and nodded to himself. A warty toad.

Puck had been running an errand for his master/lord/occasional lover. (When neither could find a suitable woman. It had happened. Once. They never spoke of it, but sometimes they shared a guilty look that pretty much said they'd both enjoyed it more than they should have.) He'd only been gone for, at the most, twelve minutes (He'd been flirting with a waitress for ten of those.) so he was surprised on getting back to said master/lord/occasional lover to see a new and *rather disturbing* presence talking to him. He glared at the ugly thing as it insulted Oberon.

It obviously hadn't looked at his ass. It was the only explanation for the tone it was using.

Oberon looked faintly bemused, so that was good, at least.

Still, Puck felt rather insulted for his master/lor…(an: you get the point). One didn't insult the Fairy King and get away with it. He'd make all the creatures vats of potions boil over, or something. After Oberon did whatever punishment he wanted to do to the thing.

Oberon glanced at him and rolled his eyes. Puck grinned a little wickedly. (He couldn't help himself.)

Mayuri was fed up with the man standing there insulting his baby. It was wrong to call children ugly to their face. (He ignored the fact that he called Nemu that all the time.) To add insult to insult (there had been no injury) the man's little friend was looking at him like he was the scum of the earth. Well, Mayuri would show those fools.

He released Asogi Jizou from the confines of its sheath.

(Puck would later swear that the thing giggled and said something to the effect of 'weeeee daddy!')

Faster than he could actually do anything with the weapon, Oberon had turned him into a purple toad. It croaked and hopped toward him, malicious intent in its eyes. Oberon chuckled and watched it.

Puck grinned. Then he kicked it into the bushes. "Ready to go, my Lord?"

Oberon smiled. "Quite."

A little bit of fairy dust drifted to the ground. The two men were gone.

From the bushes, the croaking of a toad was heard.


End file.
